Prepster Shane

What do you get when you cross a boarding school education with copious amounts of cocaine and disposable income? Prepster Shane wants to be just like his lower class brethren by revolutionizing the tattoo industry. How better to show your country club pride without wearing a collar than to ink in your favorite horse rider or green reptile onto your breast? We appreciate the effort. But, what will Mumsy and Grandpapa think of you Trip Shanederbilt?

Jersey Shore Shane

This is a Shanetamer public service announcement . . . If laughing at Shane is your favorite pastime, you must do everything you can to watch Jersey Shore on MTV Thursdays 10/9 E/P

Finally, MTV is relevant again! Guidos, Guidettes, and the Situation . . . oh my! Now if we could only convince them to fill a house with Shanes and Shaynas instead. Your Shantetamers are willing to provide casting services for free. We guarantee an equally compelling subculture exposure!

Some memorable quotes:

"I represent Italians, family, hair gel and tanning"

"There's no way I'm going to Jersey without my mangel."

"I am like a praying mantis. After I have sex with a guy I will rip their head off."

"I'm the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island, baby"

"Whadda you lookin at tough guy" ... "The Situation is like, there's a situation"

“A guidette is somebody who knows how to club it up, takes really good care of themselves, has pretty hair, cakes on makeup, has tan skin, wears the highest heels, pretty much they know how to own it and rock it.”

My Name is Shayna

Sorry Kelly. Your tattoo artist appears to have misspelled your name, it should be "S-H-A-Y-N-A". Your skip skap logic is more than a bit flawed. There is little chance that Shanes will remember your name just because they read it while giving you the eiffel tower. Hooked on Phonics didn't work for Shane, he has a better chance at pronouncing a couple of intertwining barbed wire tats than the short sentence inked on your back. Although, we applaud your tattoo inovashane. Stick to sucking dick anonymously, that way you might get lucky enough to get a second date/dance at Supa Club.

Who Dat Say Gonna Beat Dem Shane

Black and Gold Super Bowl! And Shane finally has something to wear. Thanks to the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE ® for licensing this Ed Hardy knockoff designer cotton. Now that the Saints are Marching all the way to Miami, Shane can support his team in style. Noseblead seats in Da Dome for Shane and actual fist induced nosebleads for Shayna. Everybody wins! Who Dat Shane. Best team in the league what you know about that!

OccupaShayna -- Call-In Stripper

We have already talked about the only occupaShayna that Shayna is qualified for. But, in this trying economic environment she needs a little extra cash to pay for med school. Shayna, like Rihanna, is an I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T woman and she won’t allow herself to work for a pimp or at a strip club. So, she throws on her platform heels and grabs her stringiest thong to answer the call of the trailer park bachelor party. Where else is she going to unload a case of bubblegum flavored bodyshot vodka? She will have to bring a little grape soda as well, because she doesn’t balk at the joint bachelor/child’s birthday party. But, don’t wait Shane! Book her now before she visits the wrong double wide and ends up raped and buried in the backyard.

Shaynalabia Majora

Apparently, more than four people we know read and miss our humorous insight (thanks for all the love notes Corey). So we will occasionally, post something good when it falls into our labias, I mean laps. This is one such occasion.

This is not a recent contribushane , but rather this popped up in the vault and somehow never got used. It’s so absurd we can’t even garner the requisite disdain necessary to belittle Shayna (and her self? portrait).

For fuck’s sake her deodorant must work better than mine if she assumes that position with any frequency. Either that or Summer's Eve and Secret just teamed up to make a roll-on that won't leave a residue on her black skank-top whenever she has that not so fresh feeling. But, we are guessing Shayna is just used to heinous scents because guys always piss on her face when they rinse their cum off.

Shane Academy

Your Shanetamers have thoroughly enjoyed the genius of VH1's reality documentation of Shane's behavior in the wild, Tool Academy. Never before has the world seen the in depth dysfunctShane in the coupling habits of the least refined classes. Sociologist PHD candidates should be writing theses on the Shanestitute and how her actions lead Shane astray. As long as these cum dumpsters keep fucking him, Shane is never going to learn how to get his act together. Maybe President Obama’s socialized medicine plan can focus on preventative care and let the Tool Academy be its guide. The first step is to reform Shayna and teach to her to reward responsibility, and not sophomoric conduct, with the gift/curse of her snatch. Only then can Shane be tricked/trained into becoming a contributing member of society. We thank VH1 for showing us the way to a Shane-free society. No longer will we celebrate the fact that “Matsuflex wears man panties yall!”

ExistenShaneism

Shane’s existentialist struggle continues everytime he slips on a pair of Rebel Spirit jeans. The dichotomy of living with a Rebel Spirit and “A Royal Way of Life” is mentally exhausting. Clearly such a complex man would express his softer side with an intricately designed leafless tree tattoo taking up his entire back only to remind you of how fierce he can be with his broadsword across his shoulders. This wonderful depth of character leads Shane into some unique life experiences. A shallower Shane sticks it to Shayna alone, however the Rebel Spirit Shane uses his depth to accept his bro-Shane deep inside him whilst giving Shayna the business. The self-actualization derived from that bi-curiosity is what drives Shane to be better for his fellow man. Tis’ true Shane, princes and rebels wear embroidered jeans with sequins too!

BeDazzler Shane

The Ed Hardy BeDazzler is back again and it’s the fashion craze of the season. Even if you've never threaded a needle, you’ll be BeDazzling in minutes. You can BeDazzle a hat, a shirt, a belt, a scarf, a sweater, a laptop, a blue jean jort, a muscle tee, a trucker hat, or an HGH syringe! It's easy. It’s fun. It’s fabulous! You get the original BeDazzler plus all the rhinestones, studs and stars you'll need! Don’t be dull – BE DAZZLING! – with the better than ever Ed Hardy BeDazzler!

Tramp Stamp Barbie

Thanks Mattel! Just when we thought the Jonas Brothers had de-skanked the next generation, your latest products have insured the Shanestitute's survival. Corporate America knows that slutty sells. "Look Mommy! I made my Barbie look like you. I put dollar bills in her big girl panties and used my crayons to give her a black eye!" The Go Down on her Meth Dealer Barbie comes with her own tattoos and (water) tattoo gun for quick and thoughtless ink application, not unlike Shayna’s butterfly to commemorate that 3 way in the gas station bathroom.

*Hepatitis-C, bellybutton piercings, and self-esteem sold separately.

School For Shane

Pick up the 3-wheelers from the river, and freeze your account at the local Mystic Tan… mating season is fast coming to a close. Time to throw out that crab infested Budweiser bikini, Shayna. Shane you are going to have to hang up those steroid sweat stained man tanks and get your dumb ass back to school! You have one more semester in the University of Phoenix Bail Bondsman’s certificate program and there is no way you are going to be seen at the public library’s computer lab without your illest Shanecessories. Let all the cool kids know how badass you and your trapper keeper are by the size of the skull, heart, and chicken shit. Who knows . . . you may actually learn something this year now that the Shane Overlord and Ed Hardy have your back.

Big Pus-Shane

Oh Vincent Pastore. If David Chase could see you now he would have had you whacked much earlier in the series. You definitely live up to the "Big" part of "Big Pussy". Your rotund girth is making that Afflict-Shane tee cry almost as much as we are just seeing you in it. But, we do appreciate you double fisting the cocktails in your promotional pic, but it’s hard to call you a Dago-Shane when you are squinting more than our ole buddy Charlie-Shane. Thankfully you at least had the decency to surround yourself with some high-quality Jersey skank-ass (oxymoron). However, with your fat ass on it, that bar you are dancing on must have been creaking and moaning worse than Tony Soprano’s whiny ass on Dr. Melfi's couch. But, look on the bright side, at least after doing the Stanky Leg all night you really do smell like you swim with the fishes.

Shaynacessory -- Balloon Cans

This pretty much goes without saying, but Shane (and admittedly your Shane Tamers) love tits. But, we have never really dedicated a full post to Shayna's number one option to win the mating game. Take this snapshot in time for instance. Despite the fact that the Blonde is probably more attractive than the duck-faced Brunette Shanestitute, good ole’ balloon cans dominates the photo. She learned early on, when in doubt for super club attire, always go with the sparkly tank top and the trusty "Push My Tits Up to My Chin" bra. When executed as expertly as this, she is a lead pipe lock to catch some helpless Shane’s eye. Congratulations on hooking your new Shane baby daddy! Please, just don't forget to have a little sympathy for your wing-Shayna. The poor Boardchested Blondie was stuck just giving another anonymous BJ in the parking lot after you left her without a ride home.

Shane's On a Boat!

Get your hair gel. Shane's on a boat bitch.

Drinking Red Dog Light cause its so crisp.

Got his 'ffliction trunks . . . and his Dragon Kicks.

He's throwing signs while his Shanestitutes flash their tits.

Shane's at the Super Club on water . . . ravin' and shit.

His boat is hoppin' . . . all the bitches be wet.

Cause this ain't no sports bar.

This is treal as it gets.

Shane's on a boat motha fucka and don't you ever forget it.

Shane's on a boat. And.

He's got the clap. And.

Shane got a barb-wire tat and a fake tan.

Shane been pumpin the juice on a boat straight pimpin.

If you on the shore than you sho' not Shane-in.

Get the fuck up this Shane is real!

(Enter T-Pain)

Yeah, Shane never thought he'd be on a boat.

In the dirty water he rolls.

Shayna-a-a-a look at meeee. Wooooah.

Shane never thought he'd see the day.

When a baby mamma comin' his way.

Believe Shane when he saaay.

"I fucked Ed Haaardy!"

One Year Shanniversary!

Who would have thought that in one year's time since the birth of Shane your Shane Tamers would have ever had the dedication or creativity to hate Shane in so many varied ways. So, on this one year Shanniversary we will once again be fighting for our freedom . . . not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution . . . but, from Shane. We are fighting for our right to live in the neon-less light; to wear shirts with collars; to exist tattoo free. If you see Shane today, let him know that his time is short. And, should we win the day, the 29th of July will no longer be known as a Shane Tamer holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice:

"We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence from Shane Day!"

Shane's New Look

We still have our eyes on you Shane! It's our one year Shanniversary week and we are ready for year two. Prepare to see some changes around here: new logo, new layout, new web address (minus the blogspot). It's time to take the kid gloves off when dealing with Shane. Hopefully, our marketing campaign can put Ed Hardy out of business. Be on the lookout for polo shirts, bumper stickers, temporary tattoos, posters, coozies, cell phone covers, and screen savers. Plus, we are looking for our first volunteer to get the Spotter's Crest tramp stamp. If this special opportunity interests you, as always, email us.

We’ve been really fortunate to have a lot of contribushanes over the past year and we’re always looking for more. So keep sending them our way! With your help, we can stop the tShanenami.

Thanks,

Shane Tamers

Long Distance RelaShaneship

Sup gurl, OMG 1 miz u l0tz. Want u here in bed, nao. 1 fl3x my guns 4 u, LOL. Getz barb wire tat s00n. 1 <3 ur plastic funbagz. Plz send Ed Hardy vibrator pic of u nao, thx.

xoxo
Shane

Shane's Bedspread

Shane is not going to trick out his Wal-Mart mattress with just any 100 thread count bedding. No way. He is gonna splurge and go for the finest cotton sheets made in French Indochina. This is where the Shane magic happens. Imagine all of the Shanestitute persuasive sexual encounters (rape is such a dirty word) that have happened here! Well chosen Shane. I hear they call Shayna Wet-Wet. Cause every time you finish she mess up all your bed set. But, just remember Shane. Love. Kills. Slowly. . . .

Mini Shane

Thank god they make child size shanecessories for the vertically challenged brethren. At only 3'8”, who knew Shane could stack shit that high! But, don't let this man's lack of stature fool you. What he lacks in height he more than makes up for in Shane. With his Beastie Boy reject sidekick, DJ Trendy Douche, Mini Shane will get Super Club on the dancefloor with all of the newest electronic clicks, dings, pings, and bangs. Even Shayna loves this little guy, he fits right into the oversize bag for a quick trip into the loo. Plus, he’s just the right height for her to blow a few lines off his head before he blows a few loads into her mouth. As long as Mini Shane, aka DJ Shane "Angry Spinnin’ Dwarf", can keep the club poppin’ he has it mini made.

Shane and Kate + 8

Sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint why we hate Shane so much. He usually just annoys the shit out of us with his foolish life choices. However, sometimes one Shane comes around and pretty much just sums up everything that is wrong with the classificaShane. Mr. Gosselin has done nothing of note other than deposit enough gametes into his controlling shrew of a wife so she could shit out 8 progeny. Somehow, this deserved a reality show. America realized how much his life sucks. It was all good and it was enjoyable to watch Kate drive him harder than his uncles who had to build our railroads in their pointy hats.

But, then he had a metamorphiShane. Just as the butterfly emerges from its cocoon, Jon abandoned his normal human ways and hit a new mid-30s rebellious streak. Like most Shanes, he had to cling on to his youth despite his near decrepitude. Bangin' multiple 20-year olds is fine, but don't do it while flossin a faux-shane and terrible Ed Hardy Afflict-Shanes! You're a father or 8 for God's sake. Now, we hear he is in talks with the Shane overlord himself, Christian Audigier, to be a spokesperson and possibly come out with his own line of shanecessories for children. This is the last straw, we will not abide 8 more fricking yutes running around spreading Shanecessories to America. Shit! Will the Shane never cease!?!

Dedicashane

Shane Will Rise Again

Of course Shane is going to find the illest way to show his Southern Pride. The Rebel Flag hats are so last year. "It's Heritage Not Hate". Now, when Shane shows his support the good general, he has to do it in the only way he knows how. Fanciful swirl designs? Check. Decorative block lettering? Check. Available at your local haberdashery/gas station? Check. Only $4.99*! It's a steal at twice that price Shane!

* Confederate currency not accepted.

Silver Back Shanestitute

At some point, Shayna will crest the top of the hill and slip into another dimension beyond mere sluttery. Yet, one amongst her kind stands tall and clings to the youthful indiscrete ways with such gorilla passion and reckless regard for vaginal tension that she has evolved into a whole new species. The Silverback Shayna requires that Shane not only ogles the old skank ass, but, that he comes under her complete domination. If challenged by a younger or an outsider male, a silverback will scream, beat her enhanced chest, break her nails into daggers, bare her cum-bleached teeth, then charge forward (poor Guy Ritchie). This rare breed of Shayna will stop at nothing to make sure that she retains her place in the Shaynerarchy. Like a Virgin? We think not Shayna.

Shane's Coozie

The licensing department over at Ed Hardy never ceases to amaze us. The brand expansion started when they wowed us with their Eau Du Whip. And now, they bring us these Neoprene Koozies so that Shanes and Shaynas everywhere can keep the Bud Ice and $4 mini Cook's Champagne frosty (Shayna pops bottles on a budget). This is a public service announcement to YOU, Shane. Do not delay! You need to get to the local "Kum 'N Go" before it’s too late. The Fourth of July weekend is nearly upon us. We would hate for you to be forced to use the run of the mill "He can clean fish, why not the house" huggie to keep those Zima’s and other assorted malt beverages cold.

XXL Shane

Poor Shane, he really has let himself go. At first glance he appears to be wearing some cutting edge Afflict-Shane. But, upon a closer review, those modifications are obviously aftermarket. That last cream-filled kolache left his shirt covered with more white dots than Shayna’s face after winning the wet t-shirt contest on Spring Break last year. It’s one thing to be a land monster. But, seriously, someone should tell him that ObeShanity is not to be celebrated. I hope that is vodka Jabba the Shane is shooting. He can’t afford the extra calories in tequila. Thankfully, the barkeep had the sense not to rim his shot glass with sugar. But, while on the subject of rimming, I bet MarShanemellow Boy here would toss any man's salad to get to some more food. He doesn’t see the jelly vs. syrup question as an either/or proposition. He eats outs dat ass with both! Put. Down. The. Food. Shane. Walk, nay RUN, away before you find yourself condemned to a life of movement via Rascal for the rest of your artery clogged existence.

Domestic ShaneBuse

Braaah. We are here for you man. I know your girl went all Chris Brown on your ass last night because you are such a midget bitch. But, you really can't even see it. I promise! Just put on this gay newsie hat and striped shirt and you will be fine. We will all go out and find you a new girl at the club. In no time you will be grinding on Shayna with the biggest and hardest fake cans you have ever seen. Then, all that you will be worrying about is making sure the tit doesn't smack ya in the face and fuck up your left eye. Come on man. What do you have to lose? Cranberry Vodkas on us!

Michael JackShane, R.I.P.

It hurts your trusty Shane Tamers to make this post. The King of Pop is no more. We will truly miss him and his amazingness. Now, we pay tribute the only way we know how.

Thankfully, before he met his untimely demise, Wacko Jacko was able to make a last ditch effort to try become the King of Shane. Teaming up with none other than Lord of the Shane designer extraordinaire Christian Audigier (pictured), Michael was apparently in talks to release his own line of Shanecessories under the Ed Hardy label. He had just mastered throwing signs. Who knows?! If he had made it a couple more years he could have gotten on a cycle of roids and beefed up with some badass tats and made it late into his 80's. Then, he could have met a lovely Shanestitute and cured his little boy problem. Alas . . . such is not the case. Too soon MJ. We will miss ya, you PYT!

Affirmative ActShane

Shane loves Wayne Brady, white people love Wayne Brady. Wayne Brady loves white people, Wayne Brady loves Shane. Wayne Brady is so non-threatening he makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X. This master of improvisation has spent his entire career wearing a multitude of hats. It should come as no surprise that when he dons his Afflict-Shane cap that, not only does he look like it fits him, but he actually becomes Shane. Shane-Wayne can masterfully transition from harmless black man that all white people find humorous into the poster child for all things Shane. Shortly after this photo was taken, Shane-Wayne ripped of his leather jacket to flaunt his tatted pythons and nipple piercings. The nearest Shanestitute creamed herself as Shane-Wayne slipped her some X and started grinding all over that ass like it was fried chicken in a welfare line.

Your fine Shanetamers are pleased to see that our new president has finally implemented policies that support Affirmative ActShane. We can finally redress all of the disadvantages laid upon non-Shanes of all race, ethnicity, and gender due to Shane's overt, institutional, and involuntary discrimination of the past. Just as long as “Yes We Can!” doesn’t stand for paying reparations then we can also be inclusive of our more pigmently gifted Shanes. Thank you Wayne Brady, for bursting through that glass ceiling that was holding all of your brothers in Shane down.

Armani ExShange

Hey Brah. What are you going to wear tonight? Ummm. I don't know. I was thinking about going with my White V-Neck Silver Foil Letter Pattern Designer Cotton with the repeating words "Armani Exchange, New York City, Milan." No way duuuude. I am already wearing my Black V-Neck Silver Foil Letter Pattern Designer Cotton with the repeating words "Armani Exchange, New York City, Milan." Awwww man fucking sweet!! Now we just need to hit the club and find some chick with monster fake tits to take a picture with us. Yeah! Then you should totally do that eyebrow raise thing that makes us both look so fucking cool and not old as dirt. DONE!

Doug -- Shane's Halfbro

Going Tiki Tubing this weekend Shane? Can't afford that second six-pack of Bud Ice? Don't worry. All ya gotta do is call up your half brother, Doug, the only remnant from your mom’s high school drunken gangbangs, besides the herp sores. Doug used to beat your sorry ass as a kid, but NASCAR is off this week and he won't be changing any tires or jacking anyone up/off so you can have him all to yourself. If you are lucky, Doug will delay slapping around his old lady, Tammy, for a few hours and come float down the river with you. He is your last hope of filling up the ice chest with the cheapest fermented hops on the market. Just buy him an extra case of Red Dog and he will get you and all your brothers in Shane fucked up badder than a redneck taking a English test. What good are half-brothers if you can’t use the half dumbass part? Call Doug brah!

ImitaShane

Shane’s all growns up, my little boy is all growns up. For those of you too young to recognize the seminal 90’s movie reference, you probably don’t appreciate the proper value of the sportcoat either. Don’t worry, you are not alone because neither Shane in this picture has any idea how to wear it. If they had any concept of its power they wouldn’t have matched it with the Afflict-Shane underneath. It’s like Shanes are saying, “Look at us bro-Shanes, were like a blue steel ying-yang!” Although, I really love the bedazzled white belt on the little one, he looks like a constipated AJ Soprano waiting for his turn to suck dick for rock. I can’t speak too poorly of the tall one, A) the linen coat is pretty amazing, B) I’m still trapped in his luscious curls… or not. It's too bad, but he looks like he makes that face because changing his expression would be too challenging for the delicate gray matter between his ears. They say that ImitaShane is the highest form of flattery, however in this case I think it is clear that these ImitaShanes are just flirting with each other.

Thanks to longtime reader A for the contribushane.

InterraShane Friendship

The boundaries that divide the masses have clearly been overcome by Shane and his amigo mejor. Some of you fine readers may get persnickety and suggest that blanco Shane is not Shane enough. I beg you to note that the VIRGIN MARY is throwing signs on his t-shirt; case closed. The shanedito bandito is overqualified with his terrible facial hair, Afflict-Shane and visible ink. Although, I remain confused by his insistence on conventional hat wearing. In honor of our new multi-racial Pres and the efforts of these two specimens, I salute Shane’s effort at diversity and can only offer up "Shane we Can!"

Thanks to reader redacted for the contribushane.

Shane's Coonass Prom

Paaaaaw.  Mais!  It's prom time Cher!  But you know dat Shane on da Bayou ain't gonna wear him no traditional tux.  He been running his crawfish traps all Spring and now its time for him to floss his best gear and Delcambre Reeboks for his #1 Shayna-Denise-Clotille-Boudreaux.  But just because Coon Ass Shane is all gussied up in his camo shanecessories, don't you dare think that he don't got his 4/10 on the rack in his truck at all times.  Shane’s tuxedo takes him from the high school gym to the duck blind, cause you never know when some mallard drakes might be cuppin!

Shanecessory -- Manly Makeup

Thanks to Yves Saint Laurent, Shane doesn't have to borrow his shanestitute’s MAC Cosmetics anymore!  According to metro.co.uk:

It is a make-up essential found in millions of handbags. But now Yves Saint Laurent is launching a version of its Touche Eclat eyeliner specifically for men.

Touche Eclat For Men is unfragranced and will 'encourage men to use cosmetics as a skin enhancer, rather than to create a full make-up look', the company claims.

Will wonders never cease? I guess since its for a guy it doesn’t need to be waterproof, but I hope it is getting punched in the face resistant.  I envision seeing this guy’s head smashed into the bathroom mirror if he is caught touching it up while at SupaClub. Our inner British marketing genius can’t help ourselves from pitching the slogan "Trashy enough for Shayna, but made just for Shane". 

Shanecessory -- Eau Du Whip

Shane's whip cannot be smelling like just any old ride. The traditional redneck Christmas Tree dangling from the rear view mirror will not suffice. Don't worry Shane, your old buddy Ed Hardy has come to the rescue! He teamed up with top European fragrance scientists to create a whole line of scents just your style. Never again will you have to drive somewhere without smelling Red Bull-Vodka, Coconut Fake Tan Lotion, Freshly Discarded Fetus , Techno Smoke Machine, Britney Spears Sports Bra, or Post Work Out Sweaty Man Taint again! Don't miss this opportunity Shane. Swing by your nearest Pump and Pak and pick up your favorite eau du whip while supplies last!

ProfeShanal Athlete - Spring Shaning

Brett Myers took his son to the ballpark for a little Spring Shaning last week. It’s refreshing that not even a World Series ring can change the true colors of this family man. Just a couple years removed from allegations of smacking his wife up and down a Boston street, Myers’ unparalleled parenting skills are on display. I’m sure fellow Phillies, Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins appreciated the Myers’ family display of “Heritage not Hate.” This is a stark reminder that no matter how much fame and fortune you get, you have to keep shopping at Wal-Mart to make sure your yute still has all of the illest racist/southern pride Shanecessories. The South will rise again Shane!

Occupashane - Bartender

Here are a few job skills that Shane/Shayna can offer to a prospective employer: work irregular hours, high propensity for drug abuse, dancing skills, and the occasional bout of non-consensual sex. Sounds like the perfect recipe for a successful mixologist doesn't it? Where else can Shane get paid to rock out his Shanecessories (see fauxshane in center photo), be the center of attention and pick up a few sloots who were too blitzed to escape the bar by closing time. As for Shayna, there are only a few professions that make better use of her augmentations and blowjob personality. The Shanestitutes pictured have clearly honed their craft and the one with the huge tits has even been awarded some kind of trifling Budweiser trophy. Shayna holds out hope that her Prince Charming will scoop her up out of her tube top and into his chariot and away to a life of luxury. Sorry to interrupt your daydream barkeep, serve me a couple vodka drinks before I throw up in your stretch mark laden décolletage!

Ed. Note: Shanetamers are not misogynists they just think women are inferior and unqualified for proper intellectual pursuits